LAST WORD
Getting bugged is…
By Bikram Vohra
Friday, May 11, 2012

Waiting for your luggage at the airport carousel and getting the funny feeling it isn’t coming and it was marked ‘priority’, as if that matters.

Having the TV go fuzzy just when the goal is scored or Gayle is about to hit six sixes.

Someone who bumps the fender of your brand new car or scratches it and doesn’t stay to apologise so you never know who did it.  

A gas cylinder drying up in the middle of a party… oh come on, it has happened to you. 

Finding out your ex-colleague is doing better than you because five years ago he took the job you scoffed at and said, no way, I am too smart for that one.

Being the first car at the red light; there go two minutes, if only that idiot in front…

Doing 101 kmph and having the radar catch you with a flash. 

Still being a smoker and finding a cigarette but no light and singeing your eyebrows while lighting it from the gas ring; talk about despair. 

Dialling long-distance till your fingers fall off, tap, tap, tap, redial, redial, redial and getting a recorded message telling you to try again.

Trying to call home with a desperate message and having it incessantly engaged... Why can’t she please get off the line, we have that state-of-the-art call waiting stuff but it makes no diff.

Calling a friend to pass on the message only to find it’s also engaged and now you know who is talking to whom.

Fiddling with the front door lock and rushing in to find the ringing phone stops the moment you pick it up and then you dial back and now they won’t pick it up. 

Something icky on your shoe.

People who borrow your books and break the spine, or your DVDs and scratch them… aaaaah.

People who borrow things and never give them back.

A contact lens out of place making you go blink, tear, blink, water, blink just when you are trying to make an impression, ‘canyoupleasefreezetime’ till I get it back in place.

Looking for the car keys when they have taken a walk but they were here a moment ago.

Money missing from the house and you shut up because you don’t know whom to accuse and it is a horrible feeling.

Losing your mobile phone and no one cares to call and say they have found it and it is like all those numbers have gone; yeah, yeah, always keep a back up on your computer but who does.

When you are the victim of rudeness or injustice and you can’t do anything because the other guy is bigger or more powerful or has greater contacts and you hate yourself for your rationale because all you have been is a coward.

Backing someone to the hilt and finding out they have been backbiting you.

Nails that bend when you hammer them.

Realising you’ve been rooked, taken for a ride and it’s too late to do anything about it.

Less money in the bank than you thought. 

Sending the car to the mechanic. 

Going to the airport with RQ 48 to find all chance passengers up to 45 have been accommodated.

Finding you’ve been chosen by the computer at Customs to open up your bags.

Paying off the bug control people and coming in only to see a couple of cockroaches cheerfully hiking past you, waving their antenna. 

Having a confidence spread by someone you trusted.

Playing golf and missing the 3ft putt, the 100ft chip, the straight lie.

Having a bridge partner who is a real dummy.

Playing squash with someone who asks for lets because he is too lazy to move.

Parents who compare their children to yours and always win.

People who rub salt into the wound by wrapping it in concern. 

Watching your train leave the platform as you rush in or the airport gate close as you wave frantically.

Missing the last cab in the rank.

Getting bugged is:

People who call when you’re asleep on a Friday afternoon.

bikram@khaleejtimes.com

 

 

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